~God Was There~

I actually did this project a little while ago.  It was a project that took me on a bit of a journey and turned out completely different then I thought it would.  I don’t just mean artistically.  You’ll see what I mean in a minute.  So the catalyst was “When in life have you felt most alone” .  I have felt completely alone many, many times.  I actually cherish being alone but to truly feel alone is very scary.  I think that’s why I love being married, I always know that Derek has got my back.  Even when he is gone for  months on end, I am not alone in spirit.  But….my answer to this catalyst takes place many years ago.

The most alone I ever felt was in the middle of an afternoon in May, when I was 15. It was a traumatic day, one that I will never forget. The one thing that I kept focused on was a little patch of blue sky that was peeking out from between the thick branches that blocked the Virginia sky that day. I prayed over and over to God to help me but he didn’t answer my prayers. I felt so alone, so scared, so hurt. I just stared at that blue patch and prayed for it to all be over. I have recently been blogging about this event in my life after many years of silence. It felt so good. I did feel that day that God was not there for me. Not that day or many days after. But now that my story has been told and I can go back and re-read it, I see it in a different light. I see it totally differently.

For one, maybe God could not stop it. Maybe the forces of evil were too strong that day. Maybe God could only be there to help me get through it that day.

Or, maybe God did protect me. Maybe I was not ever meant to walk out of those woods. Maybe God was there helping me to survive.

I don’t know what purpose that day had or if there was any purpose at all. But today but I don’t believe that I was “alone” that day. Looking back, I know that God was there.

I started this project out with the intention of having a blue sky peeking out of some heavy branches and communicating the turmoil that I felt that day. But somehow the project turned peaceful and pretty even though the memory isn’t. Somehow some inner peace was found while creating this project. Something that was meant to communicate the fear and “alone” feeling ended up turning into a quiet and peaceful project. Maybe, finally that scary day is gone forever and in it’s place is God’s love.

I had recently done a blog post about that day in my life, that day that changed my life forever so this was on my mind and seemed to fit perfectly with this catalyst.  It was very therapeutic for me to do this project.  I think that as my hands worked, my brain processed that day and a possiblity  opened up to me.  One that I had never considered before.

If you have read the book  The Shack, then possibly you will understand why I think that it may have influenced my thinking.  I read it on the plane last year while visiting my son in an out of state treatment facility and it opened my eyes to a different possiblity of the role that God played that day, I just hadn’t put it together with that day until this catalyst.  It all just connected.  God was there that day.  He protected me.  Not from the rape but from something far worse.  He protected me so that I could walk out of those woods alive, so that I could be a Mommy one day to Cory, Hannah and Maddy.  God was there.  When I looked up at that little patch of blue sky and begged God to help me, he did come to me and he protected me from what he could.  Thank you God.

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I used some cool products that were new to me and I am loving the effects that they create.  A while back I won some Helmar products, turns out the president of Helmar USA lives here in Ramona where I live.  Very random, especially since it is such a small town.  I actually got to go and just pick up my products.  I am now in love with the Helmar products and am SO glad that they have a USA division.  They are a popular Australian Adhesive company and so they weren’t widely available here in the US.

So, this is a big chipboard tag that I sprayed with Maya Road Mist in Blue and Hydrangea.  I then spattered it with white paint.  I used the 2 part Helmar Crackle Glaze on this (fool proof crackles) and then filled in the crackles with the Maya Road white pigment ink.  I then wiped it down with a damp cloth to remove the excess white ink.  This leaves the cracks nice and white.

I inked the branches brown and used a fine tipped pen to draw the lines.  Then I used the Helmar Textured Effects on the Maya Road branches to add some authentic texture to them.

I used a vintage bird, handmade rosebud, Maya Road felt flower, MR Brown Velvet Pleat Blossom, the new MR Ruffled Blossom and some MR trinket pins for this little cluster.

The wing is from the Maya Road wing keychain set and I used the Martha Stewart Microbeads on it.  I also used the Martha Stewart Rose leaf punch for the leaves, I punched, embossed the lines, inked and folded them for some depth. The letters are the MR Caroline set with Martha Stewart glitter in Hematite.

I used the Helmar 450 Quick Dry Adhesive for all the adhering of the embellishments including the ribbon, leaves and branches. Love that glue, it is my new favorite.

let me know if you have any questions.

Have a great day.

~Katie